Angel was a beautiful beagle who owned me for the last ten years. On January 21 I took her to the vet for her final visit due to repeated and uncontrollable seizures. Letting her go was one of the hardest things I've ever done, and I know it was the best decision for her. She lived ten good years with lots of love and care, and when it was time I gave her a respectful and dignified death. She was my baby girl, the only dog I've ever had that was just my own.

Angel was smart, sweet, loving, and loyal; she was bossy, determined, and had a mind of her own. She took a piece of my heart with her when she gave me hers. She had such love and trust in her beagle eyes and she brought joy to my life. She was a real friend, a loving companion, always there waiting.

I am lucky to have known her and I will miss her greatly.

Well, here I am - almost one month later. I totally lost momentum traveling at Christmas, coming home sick, then going back to work. Lots of excuses, okay? And this highlights what I know about myself: I have great ideas and plans, I start projects, AND I don't always follow through to completion. I was reading The Choice Is Yours by John Maxwell this morning. He lists seven enemies of commitment. The top two are my top two: (1) a lifestyle of giving up and (2) a wrong belief that life should be easy. That's been my history lately, maybe ever since my divorce in 1983. AND I can change this pattern. I can set my goals and follow through this year. Another quote in the book is "If you love what you do, you will never work another day in your life," by Confucious. That's where I am focusing my thoughts.

As I explore 2010 and strive to move ahead with my three big goals (health, financial independence, and writing) I will find ways to love the mini-steps along the way, to think of these actions as fun until they truly are enjoyable and what I really want to do. Yes, that includes eating healthy foods and exercising daily, writing in my journal every day, thinking about each purchase and saving money, and staying current with my blog. It also includes less TV, less sugar, and more reading. It seems that so far I have been exploring myself, what makes me procrastinate, quit, and get in my own way. That is what all my exploration is really about - finding my way in the world; wherever and whatever I explore, I'm really learning and growing myself.